“We tend to forget that happiness doesn’t come as a result of getting something we don’t have, but recognizing and appreciating what we do have.” –Frederick Koenig
This post is obviously going to sound somewhat cliche, but I’ve written enough cliche content by now that this crap must be mainstream to the people who have been reading this blog since it’s conception. This is me trying to write about something that doesn’t include me whining about something or other. Yeah, you’re welcome.
Lately everyone seems to be ranting and raving about happiness and how to get it. Seems a lot of people are grasping at us in this hard time, blah… blah… blah. You get the spiel, and I don’t feel like explaining it. Yeah, happiness doesn’t come automatically. Yeah, there are a thousand ways to go after it. Yeah, some of them are absolutely bullshit.
Do you want to be happy? Of course you do. These five ingredients may help you along your quest.
Such as that one. Don’t you think that if happiness meant ignoring our problems and just “being happy” that there would be any sad and depressed people in the world now?
“Buddhists recognize that happiness — unfailing happiness — can only be found internally. The goal is to stop trying to change the world around us to bring happiness, but to change our minds.” –Matador Network
I agree with this… to a point. I never set out with the intention of writing a post that would tell you exactly how to be happy. What’s the point of writing a guide when you haven’t achieved such a thing yourself? It wouldn’t be anywhere near true. And even then, how do you know that you’ve done everything in your life that you wanted to, to the point where you would be content to die that moment… unless you are on your death bed, or close to it? That’s just one argument.
Yeah, there are ways to make yourself happy. But you don’t just sit down one day and say that you’d be content like that. Life continues on, and happiness is something that is usually accumulated over one’s life. Should we look at some of the things that others say will give you never-ending happiness?
Facing your demons…being a victim. ‘Everything is always fucked up for me, nobody understands’. It took me years of not being honest with myself, running from the truth, denying what was in my face, blaming everybody else. ‘She’s nasty, she’s fucked up…look at her, look at them’…but then there was a common denominator: Me. – Liza Jessie Peterson
Introspection is one thing. You can learn a lot about yourself and being who you are by being true to yourself. But it isn’t gonna give you- well, I won’t lie and say it won’t give you happiness. It’s like having a epiphany or something and feeling good about yourself. But it’s fleeting. Because sometimes it is someone else’s fault, and there are times when people will go out of their way or unintentionally step on your parade (because, you know, it’s hard to run a life-size parade just for yourself these days).
The mind has a very bad habit, which we call self-cherishing. And I call it ‘What about me?’…it’s a bore. And it’s a drag. And nobody wants to hear it. So you can just shut up…and get off of it. And give. That’s all. GIVE. Be here and give. Connect with people…and you’re so busy giving, you don’t have time to think about yourself…um, you’re gonna be a lot happier. – Baghavan Das
I think that this one pretty much speaks for itself. Giving a gift is once again one of those fleeting things and it can backfire on you. Some people spend their entire lives giving to charities and helping third world countries. This may be good for some people, but it won’t work for others (can you tell that I’m struggling to give a objective unbiased opinion to this? Who does not want to hand the person they love the world?).
According to some spiritual traditions, we are spiritual beings in physical bodies. The spiritual part is always happy, or rather is happiness itself. The body covers this happiness essence, but it is there all the time. There is a constant desire to be aware of this happiness. This is the reason it is constantly sought.” –SuccessConsciousness.com
For me, this points more to religion than anything else. It can also be interpreted as “If I want to be happy I need to peel off my skin and get to the inside of my body”, but that sorta sounds masochistic.
Okay… so some ways that are said to make you happy turn into somewhat of a parody when put in the hands of a Aspie (or anyone else, really). What’s the point of my big rant?
Well, did you know… Marilyn Monroe had everything – beauty, wealth, fame, sex appeal, and popularity – but she ended her life in suicide. There are also people (who I am too lazy too look up and cannot remember the name of) who found these things and died contentedly. So my number one point is that happiness is different for everyone. If you don’t know what makes you happy then you need to get out more. Or get in, the one you’re not doing. Don’t look on the internet or in books for it. That should be common knowledge (but as many know, earth is lacking in that. Probably any other planet that has life on it too).
Second, the human lifespan is increasing. Did you know, that those who have access to health care (and don’t fall down with some horrible painful disease that makes children laugh, like colon cancer *COUGH* butt cancer *COUGH*) have a expectancy at birth to live to be 108 years old? Yeah, you probably won’t live to be that old, but you never know, everyone thinks that at some point. I’ve vowed to die before I get alzheimers and start inadvertantly hurting the people I love, but then again I know that probably won’t happen and isn’t realistic.
ANYWAYS, my second point is that you (well, most of you) have a long time to live yet. That’s something that I’ve come to terms with, and I’m going to share with you right now (even if you don’t want it!). You’re only going to get more stressed out the more you rush yourself. You don’t have to get through high school in four years. Yeah, right now that may be considered letting yourself “lag behind”, but the times are changing and more flexible options for schooling are opening up. If something is making you unhappy, then find something that makes that unhappiness less predominant. Don’t just sit there in a puddle of your own (or someone else’s) pee.
And, like with everything in life, don’t settle on someone else’s terms, and for someone else’s pants. Pants being a ambiguous term (in my world) for “the things that work for others”. Why?
Because I’m weird.