Trying VBlogging

For those who don’t understand:

I know the quality of this is going to be bad, but bear with me, as I’ve never done anything like this before. I want to try it out, see if it’s good.

I’ll try not to “um” and “eh” too much at ya, okay?

What I wanted to talk about, what time, and the value of time. The value of the things that you do in that time. Not just in school and in work, but in achievements, personal ones, and the things that you do to pass said time.
When I go to bed at night, I often find myself fretting a bit over having wasted time when I could be doing things, that say “actually matter”.

If you are no stranger to my blog here on wordpress, then you know that for the last few years I have not being going to school, nor working, as a result of my Asperger’s Syndrome and social anxiety. Instead, I have spent a lot of time playing massive online multiplayer games.

What I frett about the most is that games… achievements… leveling up. They have no relevance in the real world. Sure, they are a personal achievement, but if you put “I have a level 85 Death Knight, and a level 85 Priest, and I was the best discipline healer in my guild”, then they are going to turn you down right way. That is not the type of achievement that they are looking for in potential employees.

So would that make it a waste of time? If you are just playing games to pass the days you sit at home, while you could be volunteering, or doing something else that would actually help you in your future? Is personal enjoyment, personal achievements like hitting the level cap really worth the time you spend on them?

I play games to avoid being idle. To avoid being lonely. Of course, I could be doing endless amounts of chores, doing housework, even writing a book. But ever since I started staying at home so much, my will to write has dwindled. Would it be better if I forced myself to do so, even if I was miserable.

I don’t think so.

I’m not sure if playing games is worth my time. But I know that it keeps me from going insane. This is why I feel so bad when my father, or my family, lectures me about going to school. Because, I want to. I want to go to school, I want to work, I want to learn. That is something that they don’t comprehend. They know what it is like to hate school, but they don’t know what it is like to yearn for it. I understand that teenagers are supposed to go to school, for their future. Which is why I think that this topic is almost always in the back of my mind.

My conclusion, at this moment, is that time is wasted only if the person thinks it is wasted. Afterall, you are the one who makes the decision, and runs their own life. So if time is wasted, then it is obviously the fault of the person who made the decision to waste it. I know this is a rather… *pause* well, it’s not really the best of conclusions. I still waver between taking responsibility for choices, and working out the situation in a way that is acceptable and not depressing.


4 thoughts on “Trying VBlogging

  1. The video was good. I would make one suggestion. Look at the camera more when making the video. Makes the video more engaging when the person viewing it feels like the person on the video is talking to them. Otherwise very good effort for your first time :)

    That is such a hard topic to answer. How we should spend our time and our we wasting it or not. Its something I struggle with all of the time. But I think your conclusion is the best one. Time is only wasted if the person thinks it is wasted. Not obly do you make the decisions and run your life, but you know exactly at the time what is exactly going on with yourself.

    Other people can say you wasted your time, but do they really know what is happening with you. The struggles you are going through, the problems that make life difficult. It is super easy to criticize someone but another thing to be that person.

    Ask yourself is this the best I can do right now. Sure it might have been good to go to school or do some writing instead of playing games. But if you where not in a position to do good in school or writing then you have wasted time doing them, You couldn’t give it your best effort. But when you can work it out to give it your best effort then you are wasting time playing games instead of going to school or doing some writing.

    I almost didn’t write a comment, because you did come up with the best conclusion. As mature adults its up to us to decide what is the best way to spend our time. What we can achieve most with that time. Not someone else. Which also means we have take responsibility for those choices. But if the best you could do at the time was to play games to keep yourself sane then be happy with the choice.

    Its something you will struggle with for the rest of your life. Its hard to decide between what we want to do, what we should do and what other people expect of us. Its not a Aspie thing either just part of living. So keep asking yourself and try to come to the decision that is best for you and your circumstances. If you do what is best then you should be happy with yourself regardless of what other people think :)

    I hope that makes some sense :P

    • Thanks! I had a hard time looking at the camera because every time I did I went “Um” or lost my train of thought. Something about looking myself in the eyes.

      Sometimes I feel like I’m in a cycle. Do nothing > Feel Guilty > Panic About Future > Feel Powerless > Do nothing. But when I do achieve something, it is much sweeter.

  2. I would definitely have to say that even though you aren’t going to school or working that you can still find success in gaming. As odd as it may seem, if you play a lot and achieve a lot in-game, you will be recognized in-game. You can use this influence to make money if you do it right. Though I would say WoW is a dying game, there are still millions that play it. There are probably still many ways to put a writing talent to use when it comes to gaming. Being part of gaming journalism or e-sports journalism (both growing industries) are such ways. I hold a strong belief that if you do something enough, you will become talented enough at it to make money at it. Networking is important. Online it’s much easier for people like us to forge connections with other people than it is in real life, and it’s those connections that drive success. There are plenty of millionaires, possibly even some billionaires that play WoW and other games. Gaming allows people like us with no direct influence over the real world to gain a real influence over an imaginary world. The effects of this are limitless.

    I’m not condoning an addiction but rather offering my perspective on gaming, being that I am heavily invested in it myself!

    • It’s hard to get a job in gaming, and it’s rare that people get paid to play games. If I was to design them – which is tempting, as I have a lot of good ideas – I’m not very good with mathematical stuff and I have no idea where to start.

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